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never again

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i refuse to have my heart broken again.. i know its for the best.. i know i deserve better.. but why does it have to hurt so damn bad??
why is it everyones finding that one person that wants to be there for them and they want forever.. people that dont even deserve it? [that was really bitchy but i DONT CARE right now]
i deserve better thats all i can keep repeating to myself but it doesnt help the pain go away..
i really really thought he was my one and only.. yes i know i fall in love easily but that doesnt stop it from being real.. i still love him with all my heart and soul but if you cant even make time enough to call me then youre not ready for what i want in a man or life or love.. every girl deserves someone to always be there for them whether its just to say goodnight and im so jealous that things are perfect elsewhere..
dammit dammit dammit
i secluded myself today and im sorry for all the peoples calls i ignored.. i just couldnt handle being around anyone or talking to anyone today.. i didnt want to bring anyone else down and with my attitude right now thats all i would do..
i cant believe it took someone who i dont even know all that well to really open my eyes.. if he can see it then why cant the man whose always supposed to be there for me??
im done being the nice girl because nice girls always finish last.. im going to be the bitch who doesnt give a shit.. im going to surround myself with a wall and hell if you think youre breaking through.. fuck that shit..
yeah im going to be the girl that i always said id never be
but who gives a shit?
 
 

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